Friday, June 6, 2014

Gambling Addict

I have to confess, I am a gambling addict.

I have been swayed by the lust and greed of fast and easy money, but let me tell you first hand, it might be easy to come, but it's just as easy to go.

I've sunk in quite a lot of money into my CFD trading account. I would say, since I started almost a year ago, I have put in almost $8,000, and I have not much of it left. $8,000 might not be a lot to some people, but to me, it represents a month's long worth of travelling to amazing places and maybe a whole new set of tech gadgets to keep me satisfied for the next few years. It is not easy to know that these are the things that I have supposedly "given away" in exchange for my learning experience.

Anyway, the main point of this post is not to highlight how bad of a speculator and trading I am (but I really am bad), but it is more of highlighting the importance of disassociating real and proper long-term investments and "fun" accounts.

As much as I hate myself for losing trades, every loss gives me even more conviction that I'm going to be even more right! The only problem though, is will I still be solvent and have gun powder and ammo to fight the good fight as the ship sinks?

I must admit, less than 10% of my assets are at risk because of these horrible trades (realized and unrealized). However, the way I see it, this 10% is keeping the rest of my 90% out of making the same stupid silly mistakes. I suppose this is my own of paying a very expensive "tuition" fee to the system, to learn and understand. This lesson can be learnt much cheaper, easier and less painfully, but I must say that I have already learnt a lot, and each dollar lost is extra conviction for me to educate and equip myself with even more knowledge and experience.

Pinky promise, after we see the great big crash coming, I'm only leaving 5% of my assets to speculate with. Until then, I can see myself gradually doubling down my bets AGAINST the market as it goes up to giddy heights.

Let me be clear. I have no faith in the US market rally. That is my opinion, but people don't get rich trading opinions. However, that's all I've got to work with now, and I just have to resist the temptation to short everything, because that's how it feels like to me. Patience is hard to have in this crazy market we see before us.

I don't care if I'm right or wrong. All I care about is making money. More often than not though, that stems from having the right thesis to know which trade to make. Now the hard part is waiting and watching for it to materialize.

Tough game we play, in this big boy's casino.


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